In the future we'll all be gay
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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