no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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