hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
