Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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