im having a threesome with these popsicles
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize