and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Sober January is a disaster.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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