i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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