Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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