is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
