you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
