I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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