Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
