I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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