my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
