all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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