That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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