Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
