So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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