you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
