Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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