My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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