So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
