East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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