i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't turn off my feet"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
