There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
