My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize