He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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