i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
