Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
