I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
