Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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