woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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