You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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