how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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