Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
