He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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