But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
