So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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