I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
