Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
