I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
a search helicopter?!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
