Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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