He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
