If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
