I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
