remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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