Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
