So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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