I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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