Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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