Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
