My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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