her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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