pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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