The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My vagina just clenched in fear
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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