her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
as a side note pls kill me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
