the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
